Did you ever hear the advice: "If you are in a relationship, don't ever go to bed angry at each other"?
Good advice - but there's a corollary. Based on a study of 670 couples, relationships expert John Gottman says that the roots of most couples' arguments are unsolvable. So it's not surprising that arguments repeat themselves: couples will argue about the same things almost 70 percent of the time.
So, if arguments are inevitable and unsolvable, what to do? The key seems to be in finding a way to live with the arguments that you will have with your partner.
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I have always thought that this is one of the dumbest pieces of advice. Most of the time you are fighting because you are tired. If you keep fighting things will escalate. Go to bed, get a good night's sleep and things will be more clear when you are rested.
ReplyDeleteSometimes arguing is just fun. Let me see how many buttons I can push in one minute. Then it's a challenge to get out without any battle scars.
ReplyDeleteit's the piece of advice newlyweds hear a lot. People who have been married for 25 years tell us that.
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